Conservative Student News

After the retreat, the young women formed small groups to discuss what they had learned.

It was Jaimie’s birthday. Her boyfriend had been telling her for months that he had something very special to give her, and the suspense had been killing her. When Mitch handed her the gift, however, she immediately knew that something was wrong.

His face showed a tinge of embarrassment as he handed her a small package; the box was wrapped in old newsprint and was torn and dented on one corner. There was no card. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring—beautiful with the exception of a missing prong and a tarnished gold band. Jaimie’s heart sunk … months of drama and anticipation for this?

Human life is far more precious and beautiful than even the rarest diamond. Thus, it has that much more potential if it is to be freely given to another as a gift. This gift analogy was used repeatedly by the speakers and experts during the fourth annual Women’s Day Retreat sponsored by Campus Ministry on Nov. 6.

Retreat coordinator and Dowling Hall Chaplain, Christina Crow, enjoined the young women who attended to view their bodies as gifts. Throughout the day, the young women were encouraged by Crow and many others to treasure and respect their bodies before marriage so that they could offer themselves to their spouse without the embarrassment that Mitch had when he presented his fiancée with a flawed ring in a torn package.

Crow said that if men and women want to respect their bodies, they should “see sex as a gift.” Crow and other speakers advocated abstinence before marriage as a way for young women and men to preserve themselves as gifts.

Brady Hall Chaplain, Peter Camiolo, told the women, “You are a gift, and you’re worth waiting for. I think that (it would be) the greatest thing to meet a women who’s saved herself for you … and I think in general guys uphold that.”

Camiolo witnessed to the responsibility men have to respect, not only women, but also their own bodies and dignity by refusing to buy into the common myths that serve to justify male promiscuity. Although it is true that males tend to be very visually oriented, and might be sexually stimulated more quickly than females, he said that, “this doesn’t mean that they can’t control themselves.”

Lust is a conscious decision, and “there is a clear difference between love and lust, which males and females alike can recognize,” Camiolo pointed out. Thus, self-control is not only possible, but essential to relationships founded on respect. Camiolo said that it’s important to realize that thought leads to action, which in turn leads to habit: “Pornography objectifies women … (I ask guys) how are you looking at this woman? Do you realize that she is a soul? There is a story behind this woman.”

One of the main focuses of the retreat was to inform the women of the facts on Natural Family Planning (NFP) and contraceptives. Crow invited NFP physician, Dr. Mary Paquette, from AALFA Family Practice in St. Paul, to relay these fact. She began by pointing out that, “the means to not justify the ends—the way that you do it (avoid pregnancy) matters … that’s the difference between NFP and artificial birth control.”

Dr. Paquette defined NFP by saying, “Basically, modern NFP is a scientifically based method of observing certain changes in a woman’s body to help a couple determine when they’re fertile and when they’re infertile. And, by using those times of fertility they are able to get pregnant, and by abstaining from intercourse during those times, they are able to avoid pregnancy. For most couples that are trying to avoid pregnancy, that means about 5-9 days of abstinence a month.”

Since women learn to become so in tune with their bodies and individual cycles when practicing NFP, Dr. Paquette said that it is “especially good for people with irregular cycles (because) as soon as they start charting their cycles, they start to see what’s going on.” Not only does NFP help women understand themselves better, it “also helps men understand their partners better.”

Dr. Paquette said that additional benefits to practicing NFP include the fact that it has none of the medical side effects associated with contraceptives—it is totally natural and works with a woman’s body instead of against it. She told the young women that, contraception is “the only time (in medicine) where we’re reversing a healthy state on purpose.” In fact, she said, “less than 20 percent of women stay on the same pill for more than one year” because of the pill’s many side effects. She added that the communication and cooperation that NFP requires of couples who practice it creates mutual respect in the relationship and promotes the dignity of human life. These facts are evidenced by the fact that divorce rate among couples who use NFP is only 4 percent.

So, if there are so many benefits to using NFP, and it’s scientifically proven to be just as effective at preventing pregnancies as contraceptives, why don’t more people use it? Paquette cited several reasons for this phenomenon. She said that, “most doctors don’t know about it. Most doctors get their information from pharmaceutical companies, but there’s no money to be made off of NFP. (Thus,) most women also don’t know about it.”

Dr. Paquette stated that, in medical school and during her residency, she was never taught any other method for dealing with women’s cycles than the birth control pill. It never even occurred to her to do anything other than prescribe the pill until she had patients who began asking her about NFP. She did her own research which convinced her to drop all artificial contraceptives in her practice. Furthermore, her husband, also a physician, “is very scientifically minded, and (when he) saw science supporting it, he came to adopt NFP as well.”

She said that many women do not recognize the high effectiveness of NFP because they either fail to chart their cycle every day, or they never learn how to do it right in the first place: “It’s science—you’ve got to chart if you want it to work.” It is also essential to attend and complete NFP classes, and not just learn from a book or a friend, if you want to use it correctly. Classes allow women to receive personal feedback from the instructor on methods and interpretation tailored to their individual cycle patterns.

Finally, Paquette said that, “Because there’s no perfect method to avoiding pregnancy, you might get pregnant while using it … people who use it effectively can get 99 percent plus accuracy, (and) statistics show that artificial methods result in just as many unplanned pregnancies.” Additionally, she has noticed a profound difference in her patients who accidentally got pregnant while using NFP from couples who did so while using artificial means of birth control. She said that, if you use NFP, you will be more open to life, and consequently have a less negative attitude if you do have an unplanned pregnancy: “People who accidentally get pregnant on the pill see it as a burden.”

Overall, the retreat conveyed a consistent message: Chastity and NFP are two ways that we can value our bodies enough to view them as a gift—a gift of love and respect to ourselves, our partner and to God.